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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 01:27

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By taking turns talking.

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

Why is the word "democracy" not in the preamble of the US Constitution?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.